This article I wrote on the lyrics to the song "Gardening at Night" was
recently published in the fanzine _394 Oconee_.  Enjoy! 

Gary Nabors
nabors@pobox.upenn.edu

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DIGGING INTO "GARDENING AT NIGHT"

copyright 1994 by Gary Nabors, author of _Remnants_

Those like myself who have elected to indulge in the science of
deciphering R.E.M. lyrics are potentially destined for failure, as the
published R.E.M. lyrics, and those "official" lyrics that have appeared
elsewhere have shown that at least on the surface, Stipe's lyrics can be
largely nonsensical.  This is particularly true of R.E.M.'s "middle
period" compositions, i.e. songs that appeared on Chronic Town through
Fables of the Reconstruction.  Earlier, simpler compositions such as "Hey,
Hey Nadine" and "Bodycount" are not nearly as difficult to comprehend. 
	The band members have referred to "Gardening at Night" ("GaN"),
written in the fall of 1980, as the first composition that they were truly
satisfied with and proud of.  For me, this song represents the band's
entrance into the most exciting and innovative period of their career as
composers.  Transcription of R.E.M. lyrics from songs such as "GaN" can be
both frustrating and challenging, but this obstacle has not stopped
legions of would-be Stipe's from attempting to do so.  Take, for example,
the fact that no less than four books composed solely of the lyrics to
virtually every R.E.M. song released by I.R.S. and Warner Brothers have
been published in the past four years (all different, of course). 
Recently, my friend Kipp and I, two more victims of Stipe's inability to
articulate, have re-examined some of the lyrics from the band's earlier
albums, with the naive belief that we could put to rest some of the
nagging insecurities we held regarding our understanding of these early
compositions.  In other words, we asked, "What the hell is he saying?"
	From the very first line, "GaN" presents a challenge.  Is the
lyric really, "...pocket change through all" as the lyric books claim? 
Certainly this makes little sense.  This, I believe, is because it's
wrong.  To help answer this question, let's skip down to the line that
begins with, "The sun just hurts..." Pay particular attention to the fact
that this lyrical phrase contains one complete sentence, and the beginning
of the next:  "The sun just hurts my eyes.  Somewhere..." With the
"somewhere" sentence, a new idea begins, although the word "somewhere"
itself is tacked onto the previous phrase which ends with "eyes." Taking
this observation back to the beginning of the song, the second line
therefore should end with "pocket change," and not "all." After repeated
listenings using the resources listed at the end of this article, the
consensus is that the lines should read: 

I see your money on the floor I felt the pocket change 
Though all the feelings that broke through that door 
Just didn't seem to be too real

Note that "THROUGH" was replaced with "THOUGH." Hopefully, you'll be
convinced after one of two listenings. 
	The next difficult passage begins with "Call the --- for a
change." Most fans agree that the subject of the call is "the prayer
line," a service whereby one calls and listens to a daily prayer, or asks
for a prayer to be made on their behalf, possibly for a nominal fee
("prayer line" can be heard particularly well on the Alternative Radio
Sampler version).  Thus, the following line, which I believe to be, "The
charge is changing every month," would refer to the charge for the
services of the prayer line.  Following this idea through, "They said it
couldn't be arranged" would also refer to the prayer line, and the fact
that answering the prayer requested was not possible.  As an interesting
aside, three different lyric books record the second line in this verse
as "call the frail aunt for a change."
	Now let's progress to the verses that begin with "Your sister
said...," a line that Stipe often replaced in concert with others.  In
most of the lyric books, the third line of this verse reads, "The call was
two in fifty-one." What sort of cryptic message is this?  Perhaps a call
being two years old in 1951?  After listening to the version of "GaN" on
the Alternative Radio Sampler CD, I concluded to my satisfaction that the
second time the line is heard, Stipe sings, "The call length's two and
fifty-one," which was shortened to "The call was two and fifty-one" on
Chronic Town, and most other recordings of the song.  In my opinion, Stipe
is referring back to the prayer line here, and to the fact that the length
of the call to the prayer line was two minutes and fifty-one seconds. 
The Alternative Radio Sampler version was the giveaway, in which "call
length" can be heard, albeit not plain as day.  His mention of the
duration of the call here may have been made because of the point I made
earlier - that there may have been a charge attached to the call, and the
charge may have been based upon the length of the call.  This theory is
supported by the fact that the very next line, "They said it couldn't be
arranged," again refers back to the prayer line.  Interestingly, Stipe
replaced this lyric with, "Your crucifixion is arranged" during some
performances of the song in 1981.
	This leaves only one line, or couplet in "GaN" that remains
undeciphered - which in most of the lyric books begins with, "We recollect
the garbage sound," an interpretation with which I disagree.  Ad nauseum
listening to more than 15 versions of the song has revealed no clear-cut lyric
that meets with my satisfaction.  But perhaps it's better to leave it
alone.  Life's no fun when there is no mystery.  However, if you've got
some ideas to share, you're welcome to post them here.  Remember - your
lyrics can't be any stranger than mine, or Michael Stipe's for that matter.


Gardening Tools: officially released versions of "Gardening at Night"
1. Chronic Town version
2. "Different vocal mix" version as heard on Eponymous
3. Live version, Paris, 1984, as heard on "Rockville" U.K. 12-inch single
4. Live version, Boston, 1983, as heard on Murmur import CD with bonus tracks
5. "Acoustic version" as heard on Dead Letter Office import CD with bonus
   tracks
6. "Slow version" as heard on The Alternative Radio Sampler, U.K. promo CD


copyright 1994 by Gary Nabors